Area Man Absolutely Certain He Remembered to Lock Front Door, Will Now Drive 40 Minutes Home to Check

CINCINNATI, OH — Local man Derek Pulaski, 34, confirmed Monday that despite being 20 miles from home and already five minutes late to his sister's birthday dinner, he has no choice but to turn around and personally verify that his front door is, in fact, locked. "I distinctly remember locking it," Pulaski told reporters from the highway shoulder where he had pulled over to stare at his steering wheel and think about it. "But did I? I don't know. I can't know. I could feel the lock. I heard the click. But what if I imagined the click?" Sources close to the situation confirmed this is the third time this month Pulaski has made the return trip, having found the door locked on all previous occasions. His sister, who has asked not to be named but is "extremely unsurprised," said the cake is already cut. At press time, Pulaski had completed the round trip, confirmed the door was locked, and immediately began wondering whether he had turned off the coffee maker.