Woman Returns From Italy Absolutely Insufferable About Coffee

BOSTON, MA — Colleagues of marketing associate Caitlin Brooks, 31, confirmed this week that the two-week Italian vacation she returned from on Sunday has rendered her completely unable to drink, discuss, or witness coffee being prepared without delivering an unsolicited seminar on what she experienced in Florence. "She watched someone add oat milk to an Americano and she physically flinched," said coworker Daniel Tran. "Like, she put her hand over her mouth." Brooks, who prior to the trip drank a venti vanilla latte every morning without comment, has since described American coffee culture as "a tragedy" no fewer than six times since Monday and brought in a moka pot that she placed on a shared counter with a handwritten explanation card. "An Italian barista named Marco told me you can't drink cappuccino after 11 AM, and I think about that every day now," Brooks said. "Marco was right about everything." Brooks's friends, whom she has invited to a "proper espresso experience" at her apartment this weekend, confirmed they will not be attending. Her mother, who still owns a Keurig, has been asked not to use it during Brooks's next visit. At press time, Brooks was seen measuring coffee grounds on a small postal scale and explaining why this is normal.